


Say Something

by Lessenil_of_the_Forest



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Injury Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9523856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lessenil_of_the_Forest/pseuds/Lessenil_of_the_Forest
Summary: After the Battle of Scarif, Jyn finds the motivation to live again as she looks after Cassian's injury.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

She woke soaked in sweat, her dream still vivid in her mind. The saline scent of her quarters wafted through the room. At first she thought she was back on Scarif, and she watched as the battle play out before her eyes. Blood watered the sand like the rain in early spring. Blood of men who left behind their wives, children, and sweethearts on the whim of her words. She had convinced them that pieces of code were more important than their lives, and they had made that sacrifice without hesitation.   
Her surroundings came back into focus: a pitcher, an IV, and pain in her upper body and legs. She watched as the pain killer was pumped into her lower arm. It had been four days since her rescue at Scarif, but to her alone, it felt like only minutes since then. She saw those men again, fighting along side of her. How could Fate decide her life was more worthy than theirs? She should have died with them. A warrior written down in history. But no, she had to live through the pain of knowing her choices caused death upon death. When would the fight end?  
She had thought about it, thought about staying on that beach. She had no motivation to move forward. Her job was done, but the rescue team came anyways. One remaining X-wing pilot had spotted her and Cassian while they were awaiting death. She wanted to die on the beach with the others. If it had been her choice, she would have crumpled up into a ball and awaited death like a sparrow before a winter storm. But Cassian was there. She knew that she couldn’t die in peace, knowing that she dragged him to the grave with her. So it was decided. She hoisted up Cassian, and draped his arm over her shoulder and waved down the X-wing. His felt like dead weight, pulling at her left side, but she was going to save him.   
The flight back to Yavin 4 was swift, but not swift enough to keep the nightmares at bay in her mind. Where were Bodhi, Chirrut, and Baze? Gone. Forever. They had become part of the vast night sky that day. They, too, had been brave.  
Everything had been a blur. As the X-wing flew off, she felt a throbbing in her legs that slowly moved up to her head. Her heart throbbed too. For them. For the men and women that sacrificed themselves loyally for the cause. For Bodhi, for Baze, for Chirrut.  
“Jyn, did we do it?” Cassian mumbled. He was fading in and out of consciousness, and his blaster wound desperately needed attention.  
“Yes.” Jyn couldn’t think of any other form of encouragement. The only comfort she had was that the rebels received the plans of the Death Star. What if they hadn’t succeeded in even that? She shivered underneath her sweat.   
She turned to Cassian. His eyes rolled back into his head, and she felt his body go limp in the seat next to hers. Instinctively, she reached for his hand dangling at his side. Blood dripped down from his shirt onto her hand. After losing so many, she was not about to let Death take one more person away from her. Jyn ripped off her scarf and pressed it to his wound, silently cursing her medical skills.   
“Stay with me, Cassian,” He groaned as she desperately tried to stop the bleeding with her scarf by pushing down on his abdomen. The rust pigment diffused across her scarf, climbing towards her hand. His blood was warm and coated the tips of her fingers.  
“Cassian, please say something. I need you to stay with me. Tell me...tell me a story,” Jyn pleaded. She had seen men die and knew the best chance of Cassian’s survival was keeping him conscious. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. She couldn't panic, not now. But fear began to creep into her mind.   
“Please,” she begged once more.  
“Once upon a time...there was a boy,” Cassian began. His voice quivered with the effort. Jyn started, unable to believe his resilience. “He lived on a faraway planet living in the dreams of childhood. Then one day, everything he knew was taken from him: his friends, his family, his home. But they couldn’t take everything away from him. They never could have taken away…”   
He cried out in pain. Sweat dripped down his temple giving his face a sickly shimmer. Despite her fear knotting in her stomach, Jyn prodded, “What could they not take away?”  
“Hope. They could never take away his hope that one day he would be victorious. He would rise through the clouds and claim his revenge.”  
He stretched his legs out and gazed blankly at the wall in front of him. His face darkened as he continued. “Years passed, and the boy became a man. A bitter man who would kill for the sake of killing thinking that each life he took would cover his need...his need for revenge.  
“But nothing could satisfy that need. Enemy lives and even innocent lives were taken as the man retreated further into the savage crevices of his mind. Time would not cure him, and nothing would stop him until everyone who had wronged him was dead.”  
He paused. The hum of the ship echoed around them. His rough hand shook in hers, and she gave it a gentle squeeze encouraging him to continue. “By chance or perhaps by fate, this man met a girl. At first, he saw her as another means to achieve his revenge. But as time moved on he saw her as someone he could trust with his life. He never had trusted anyone before. His world was just him, his bitterness, and the galaxy. However, the thing that made the girl different from the others wasn’t his full trust in her, but also her full trust in him. He hurt her trust deeply at one point, yet she still came back to save him. Not physically though. She saved his soul. In his mind, she represented the hope he was fighting for. After years of searching, he had found his cause, and his desire for revenge vanished.”  
During the narrative his eyes slowly had moved to examine her expression with cautious intensity. Jyn turned her head towards his and locked him in her gaze. Understanding flooded through her. Cassian didn’t know. He didn’t know that she too had been brimming with uncontrollable anger. After a few silent seconds, he grimaced in pain breaking their eye contact. “Cassian, we’re almost there. Please… keep telling the story.”  
“...They had each other's backs no matter what even when death was inevitable, because they both...had hope in a new future. They did everything they could to lay the foundations of this hope in others even when it meant sacrificing themselves.”   
He smiled at her, and she tightened her grip on his hand. His face had drained of its colour, and his breath came out in ragged wisps. He tried to push himself up, but he was too weak. “Jyn... I don’t think I’m going to make it.”  
Her breath stopped as she let silence fall again. “I disagree with you there, captain.”  
“No Jyn, I’m serious.”   
She locked eyes with Cassian. Her heart rate accelerated and she couldn’t move. What if he died? No one else would be there to share her pain. No one else knew her sufferings the way he did. His story, their story, perfectly reflected her journey until this point. She knew at once that no one else in the universe would ever understand her like Cassian did. Even over the course of a week, he grasped the extent of her suffering and her hope for a new future. She never expected to live and neither did he. That’s what made them so valuable to the cause. They were willing to sacrifice their lives for a reality not just a fanciful illusion.   
Her haggard voice croaked, “Cassian, please don’t leave me.”  
Silence. She grabbed his other hand, frantically checking his pulse.   
“Cassian?”  
No, he couldn’t be gone. Heros never got rescued in the stories only to die on the ride back home. Jyn rushed up to the front cabin to find the pilot.  
“Pilot, he’s fading fast! How much farther are we from Yavin 4?”  
She responded, “Approximately, one hour. I’m going as fast as I can without damaging the engine of the ship.”  
Jyn quietly cursed under her breath. She paced back to the back of the cabin towards the benches where Cassian’s lifeless body draped across six seats. She collapsed on the chair next to his feet. Life had become to hard to bear suddenly. The deaths she had seen before would have been nothing compared to his.  
“He’s not going to die, stop telling yourself otherwise,” She whispered to herself. Jyn peered back a Cassian. His face appeared peaceful, almost angelic. The only thing distracting from the sight was the blood oozing out of the makeshift bandage she made. At least he is unconscious, she thought.   
“Please say something, Cassian.” Her mind began to run through possibilities and outcomes as the ship sailed across the galaxy back towards Yavin 4.  
_________________  
Jyn rose from the hospital cot, yanking the IV from her arm. She didn’t need pain killers or so she thought at the moment. Suddenly, she realized she had dawned on a hospital gown, and she felt exposed. A nurse rushed in, “Please Miss, you’re not fully capable of walking yet. You still need rest. I’ll hook you up to your IV again if you wouldn’t mind.”  
Jyn stretched her spine and put on an air of superiority, “Well, I’m standing now, so I assume I can walk just fine. How did I get here?”  
The nurse replied, “You came in on one of the surviving X-wings. I’m not surprised you don’t remember because we found you crouched up in a chair shaking and sobbing. We had to sedate you. Obviously you suffered a lot that day and witnessed too much for a person your age.”  
“I don’t cry because of shock,” Jyn angrily retorted.  
“Well tell that to yourself four days ago, and I think you may find yourself disagreeing with that statement.”  
Jyn did not like not remembering, and she especially did not like the fact that she had an emotional break down in front of professionals. “Where is Captain Cassian Andor? I need to see him.”  
The nurse shuffled her feet uncomfortably at Jyn’s anxiousness, “I don’t think he is in any position to... greet a visitor. He had received a fatal blow to his abdomen, and we didn’t think he was going to make it.”  
“Take me to him immediately,” Jyn persisted.  
After changing into her clothes, the nurse guided her down a long corridor. Their footsteps echoed off the walls and squeaked against the unnaturally clean floors. They approached a room, and the nurse cautiously opened the door. Jyn rushed in after her towards Cassian’s bedside. He was sleeping, or unconscious still, his appearance haggard. She dropped to her knees, itching to reach for his hand, but she was conscious of the nurse’s presence in the room. “He has been fading in and out, but nothing he has said was remotely intelligible. I’ll come back for you in ten minutes.”  
Ten minutes? Jyn scoffed internally. She would not leave until Cassian woke up, so she strategically planted herself in the armchair next to his bed. Her hand reached for his, and she found comfort in its warmth. “Once upon a time, there was a girl who dreamed of dancing across the night sky. Her family moved across the realms of the galaxy, but that didn’t bother her because she was always with them. Then, one day, everything was taken from her. They killed her mother and took her father away. She learned to hide behind a stone face to avoid the building emotions and hate in her soul. She forgot the night sky and the light of the galaxy and became absorbed in her own sorrow. It was lonely in her universe of self-pity, and everyday she grew more vengeful.  
“Then, she met a man, who seemed to be brimming with icey confidence. She was attracted to his confidence like winter moths to the light. But the closer she got to him, the more she realized that he was just like her. He learned to take his prison with him wherever he went. His cool demeanor kept his heated emotions at bay. And so they fought with each other and with their inner natures. But as minutes grew into hours, and hours into days, they began to realize that they were healing each other. In one battle, a battle of life and death, the girl wanted to die. She didn’t want to go on. The only thing keeping her alive was the idea that she couldn’t die in peace knowing that she hadn’t protected him all the way. So she lived, because he needed to live. But his ending is yet to be determined. Cassian, can you finish the story?”  
At this point, Jyn was fully aware that she was talking to no one. Her words bounced aimlessly off the walls without an audience or even a response. Cassian did not stir, but his breathing came in steady paces. In, out, in, out. She watched the seconds crawl into minutes as the heartbeat monitor traced mountains on the screen.  
Hope. There was always hope. She felt its presence in the room as she prayed that he would wake. The rescue could not have been purposeless, so he must live. Her grip tightened on his hand pleading him to wake up and recognize her. “We are one with the force, and the force is with us.”  
She chanted this under her breath for the sake of killing time. Cassian murmured a jumble of words under his breath. Jyn, anxious to get any response from him leaned her ear right next to his lips. His words didn’t sound familiar, maybe from his native dialect. Exhausted, she fell back onto her seat. At least he wasn’t dead, but if death was the end goal, it might be less painful for him to die now.  
Jyn sat up straighter. What if he died? How many heros live to die in a hospital?   
Many. That was the answer she didn’t want to hear, but it came naturally to think it. Memories of the times when she spent with Saw Gerrera’s men came back to her. They had rescued plenty of men, only to find that their wounds could not be mended. She had seen men’s limbs torn from their bodies, their bones broken, their spines snapped, but nothing came close to the moment when Director Krennic shot Cassian. His face in pure horror for mere milliseconds before it dawned on him that he, the invincible man, was still just a man. His body dropped and hit several beams on the way down. Thud, thud, thud, bang. She had wanted to scream, but screaming wouldn’t have brought him back. Jyn knew she should never have gotten attached to the captain. Soldiers never make it far in battles, and it is always best to keep them at a distance. But she had grown close to him nevertheless. Yet against all odds, they, partners in the rebellion, had survived. So far.   
Ten minutes passed, and the nurse came to escort Jyn back to her room. When the nurse entered, she found Jyn passed out on the chair clasping Cassian’s hand like it was the only thing grounding her in the world. From the horrors described by the other survivors of Scarif, the nurse judged that Cassian probably was the only thing that kept Jyn from madness.   
___________  
He was falling. Gravity dragged him down the library of data chips. Above him, he saw Krennic smiling with the realization that he had hit his mark. I’m going to die, Cassian thought. As he fell, he also saw her. She had the files, the Death Star plans. Even as his body impacted with the first beam, he knew he could die knowing that she would succeed. No one needed to tell him that Jyn would make it. She had a fire in her that would not stop burning until she consumed all the fuel and completed her purpose. The end goal.   
Cassian woke with a start, just before his imaginary body would have hit the first beam. Where was he? Dead probably. The bed was too comfortable and the air was too clean. Well, he thought, maybe I finally made it to heaven. If that is where rebels like me go. Stress, his old friend, kicked in. He scanned his surroundings calculating the nearby threats. A heart monitor, painkillers, and... Jyn? Panic swelled up inside of him. “Did you die too?”  
Jyn woke slowly from her sleep, “Cassian?”  
As she stretched out her spine, he became aware of their entwined hands. He subtly tried to sit up straighter as well, hoping that his movement wouldn’t scare Jyn’s hand away. Immediately, Jyn’s face reddened, and she retracted her hand from his. Cassian was glad that he never blushed, but he could feel a warm sensation rushing up to his face. “Sorry about that,” she quickly added nodding towards his hand. “No one thought that you were going to make it.”  
“How long was I out for?” Cassian inquired.  
“Seven days. They said that if you didn’t wake up in two weeks they would pull the plug.” She paused and debated whether she should continue. She did. “I argued for two months. Surprisingly, they never fought back. I think Draven might be scared of me,” she added with a smirk.  
“When I first met you, I was scared of you. Not really you, but the fire behind your eyes and all the impulsive decisions that fire might cause you to make,” he confessed. “I lived a very planned out life. I received my orders, executed them like a loyal soldier, and never thought twice. Until, I did. But when I did, I could never forgive myself for my actions, so I choose to forget and live in ignorance. I could understand your relentless determination, but I could never understand your need. Your need to have a purpose, a goal.”  
He hesitated. Jyn could see his mind running, probably remembering past nightmares. She could also tell that he was debating on releasing information. She knew that face, his spy face. It was the face he made when he retreated behind his cold exterior. Cassian felt her gaze penetrate his mask, so he pretended to lightened his appearance for her sake. She didn’t need to know all the horrors he had faced. There would be time for that in the future.  
The future. His entire life he had been to focused on the present to even think about any long term plan. His life had been his next mission, his next target, his next kill. The cycle never ended. Until now. It was as if Jyn had ripped him out of a time loop. He saw a future. He saw a future with her.  
He scanned Jyn. Next to her there was a blanket, a pillow, and empty plates of food. He counted the dishes. One, two, three, four...six. Divided by two. Three days. Draven had always complimented him on his keen observation. Always look for the obvious before asking the obvious...and looking like a fool. Three whole days she sat next to him. That means, seeing this is the seventh day, she must have remained in the hospital for four days. She looked like she had recover well. Her face shone, brimming with eagerness. “Jyn, I may not have known you for very long, but I have known you long enough to understand that you are a survivor at heart. Why did you stay, you could have just left me behind?”  
Jyn envied Cassian’s ability to keep his face emotionless and calm even under stress. She could feel her face start to change crimson. Her heart raced in her chest like an animal trying to escape, but she was determined to keep her cool demeanor. She exhaled, “What you say is true; I am a survivor. But, I am a survivor with a purpose. My entire life was built around one purpose: to hurt the enemy. Of course, I have learned to express this purpose in many ways over the course of my life. With Saw, I became a mercenary. Killing to weaken the enemy, but blindly killing, because it was the only thing I knew how to do. After I joined the Alliance, I switched that purpose to obtaining the Death Star plans and making sure my father’s work was destroyed.   
“After transmitting the plans off Scarif, I lost my purpose. Whether I lived or died, it wouldn’t matter. No one in history would remember Jyn Erso, the woman who hit the send button. They wouldn’t remember the soldiers who died as a mere distraction either. They wouldn’t even remember Cassian, the man who put his life and reputation on the line to secure success.”  
At this, Jyn clasped Cassian’s relaxed hand. He smiled at her, nodding for her to continue. “I lost my purpose. I wanted to die an unsung hero. I would have stayed on that beach and awaited death as an old friend.”  
“But you didn’t,” Cassian added.  
“But I wanted to. I wanted to curl up into a ball and watch the sunset like when I was a little girl. But I could never die in peace knowing I didn’t save your life. Cassian...you became my purpose. I had to save you… If you weren’t there, I would have died. In reality, you saved me.”  
Cassian propped himself up. A tingling spread across his abdomen. He gasped as the tingling turned into pain. He tightly gripped her hand. Concern flashed across Jyn’s expression, but it quickly faded as Cassian struggled to keep the fire of his wound from affecting his exterior. “...Thank you, Jyn, for everything. For saving me on our first mission and on our last.  
“Although I honestly hope that was our last mission for a while,” Cassian relaxed back onto his pillow. He knew that life would not stop after his injury had healed. He would endure and continue the fight. He would fight until there was no more battle and generations after him would never have to face the fear of dictatorship or the look of their best friend’s face as they died on the plains of battle. “Imperial forces are still out there, and there will always be more missions to come. Will you be there with me?”  
“All the way,” Jyn replied without hesitation.  
Cassian rushed with a surge of relief. She assured him that he would never face another day alone in the universe. She would always be at his side. The stardust to light the way.   
____________  
For once in their lives, the boy and the girl were satisfied. The comfort of each other's presence was enough to pull them through even the darkest of times. When they looked at each other, it was as if they were staring into a mirror. They completed each other. Two broken souls, two hungering spirits, and one galaxy to explore for the rest of time. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. This was my first fanfiction, so sorry for the writing quality.


End file.
